Incident Report: The David Conundrum Pt. 2

-

Incident Report: # 021418
The David Conundrum Pt. 2

-Transcription Begins-

Me
“So, is... is that how we... you know?”
“Fizzle?”

Jack (Dia)
"Fuck if I know."

Me
“I’m not cleaning it up.”

Jack (Dia)
"I guess that's a step in the right direction."

Me
“Maybe the others will be nicer?”

Jack (Dia)
"Fucking drama queen of a killer."

Me
“I’m pretty sure we both need a drink right now.”
“The good kind.”

Jack (Dia)
"Well, we survived the K3 jackass David."
"Now only.. 5 or so left?"

Me
“Not many people could say that.”
“About that. But hey, at least we still have each other.”
“Who’s next?”

Jack (Dia)
"Why couldn't we have lucked out and gotten a visit from the nicer ones?"

Me
“Dunno, guess we didn’t get that big of a break after all.”

Jack (Dia)
"Owen, Apollo, Shady, Gallows, and others are en route."

Me
 “Should I actually make tea this time?”
“That sounds like a lot of people.”

Jack (Dia)
"Yeah. Might as well fix dinner too."

Me
“Good. Now, as your boss. Go cool off and relax. I’ll take care of dinner.”

Me
“Sounds like you need it.”

Jack (Dia)
"Well.. what now?"

Me
“You sit down with some tea.”
“I need to go to kitchen and ask the sandwich demons for help.”

Jack (Dia)
"Oh jesus. My stomach hurts from all the sandwiches I've eaten."

Me
“Luckily for you, these are for the guests.”

Me
“And Someone is making a reappearance.”

Jack (Dia)
“Who?”

Me
“Um, David. He didn’t sign a form. Pretty sure he’ll sign anything if he gets to read it.”

Jack (Dia)
“What fucking form? If I see him again, we’re going to have a knife fight.”

Me
“Not with the good silverware you’re not.”

Jack (Dia)
"My knives. My rules."

Me
 “Always gotta be so difficult.”

Jack (Dia)
“As far as you’re concerned, I’m going to be pouty all fucking night long.”

Me
... Jack there is no sex requisition form.

Jack (Dia)
“I’m going to hide in my room, Nice try.”
“Wait, we have requisition forms?”

Me
“... Jack, there is no sex requisition form. Don’t even try it.”

Jack (Dia)
"DAMN"
"I mean he did say ANYTHING."
"Loopholes."

Me
“That’s a horrible abuse of your power and you know it.”

Jack (Dia)
"I don't give a shit. I just want to fuck with his head."
"See what he does."

Me
“As long as he signs the form, you can do whatever you want.”

Jack (Dia)
"I don't care if he does. I want him to come back for him. Not for me."

Me
“Yeah um. I already called before I told you this.”

Jack (Dia)
".....what."

Me
“You can thank me later.”

Jack (Dia)
 "He just left."
"The fuck do I do with this?'

Me
“You were going to be pouty all night.”
“Also we need to file the report.”

Jack (Dia)
"THERE IS NO WAY YOU NEED THAT FORM THAT MUCH."
-Yells-

Me 
“No, I really don’t. but there’s no way you still don’t want to talk to him.”
“Now, I’m going to take a really long time getting a pen.”
“Be civil.”

Jack (Dia)
"I don't wanna."
"This is clear entrapment."

Me
“No, this is aggressive reconciliation therapy.”
“Either you two hash it out now or leave this whole thing unresolved til later.”
 “Ah, resolution.”

Jack (Dia)
"I'm pretty sure I hate you right now."

Me “Yeah yeah. I know.”
“But it’s better that you hate me than me too hard headed to talk to him again.”
“I can’t stand seeing you like that, Jack.”

-So David comes back for paperwork-

Jack (Dia)
"You know you didn't have to sign."
"Tag was fucking with you."
"I'm sorry you came all this way."

DAVID -
"It was a five minute drive."

Jack (Dia)
"To No Man's Land?"
"Man FUCK the Path of Black Leaves."
"Look, just sign whatever you need to. I'm sure Tag has the form."

DAVID
"I can't use the path. I just have been staying at a motel nearby is all."

Jack (Dia)
"Oh... why?"
"I told you to go home."

DAVID
"Wow you really don't know me."

Jack (Dia)
"Oh, I do. I just know a lot of versions of you."
"I never know who you are anymore. It scares me."

DAVID
"I don't have a home. Never really have. Ronan's for a while, I guess. But I've always just... gone where I'm needed."

Jack (Dia)
"You peed on my porch."
"I kinda figured that said the 'fuck off' quite clearly."

DAVID
"Yeah. I'm more proud of that then I should be."

Jack (Dia)
"You applied your fizzle magic. In a fucked up way, but you did."

DAVID
"I did."

Jack (Dia)
"Your role in this, he one you signed up for, is over."
"You can go home, sweetheart."

DAVID
"You're really missing the point."

Jack (Dia)
"I'm going to kill Tag for causing this."
"Clearly we miscommunicate constantly."
"So just tell me. What's your angle on this?"

DAVID
"I don't think we do at all."

Jack (Dia)
"What do you want from me, then?"
"I'm not your Dia. "
"Nothing with me will give you closure."

DAVID
"To explain what's going on. I still don't know whether I did the right thing here. Whether I protected innocents or allowed a slaughter."

Jack (Dia)
"The slaughter was already happening. That's Lilith's doing."
"I'm trying to get out to stop the killing."
"End the Culling before it becomes too late."

DAVID
"That was never made entirely clear."

Jack (Dia)
"I just wanted my friend with me when I did."
"I'm sorry."

DAVID
"I get it."

Jack (Dia)
"You aren't the guy I loved so much."
"But I still want to ask you to stay, despite that."
"I'd like to get to know this version of you."
"See who Azrael really became while I was gone."

DAVID
"Might be difficult if you can't even look at me."

Jack (Dia)
"You know why that's hard for me."
"You aren't him. I gotta get used to that first."
"I'll be able to look you in the eye eventually."
"I know what you look like. Inside and out, physical and mental."
"I don't need to look at you to get to know you."
"I have all the rest memorized."

DAVID
"I do. And it's disappointing. You were forged in fire Dia. Jack. I put you through the worst I could imagine so that when something worse inevitably came along, you would know you could handle it. But... you can't can you. I did nothing, apart from cause a massacre."

Jack (Dia)
"I can handle anything. I just don't want to be alone for it."
"This isn't the first time I've fought Them. Just the first time you remember it."

DAVID
"You keep pushing me away and you'll have to be."

Jack (Dia)
'I've had to ask an incarnation of you to stay so many times, it makes my heart bleed."
"But if it helps. Please stay. I need a reason to leave."
"Because as it is, I might stay. And I have too much left to do for that."

DAVID
"You keep telling me to go home. Home is where I'm needed."

Jack (Dia)
"This is my home."
"But if yours needs you more, then go."
"I'll be okay."

DAVID
"You are /really/ missing the point."

Jack (Dia)
"I'm very high and very sad."
"I'm pretty much oblivious right now."

DAVID
"I'm home. Right now. Although fair warning you pretty much have to share custody with Fracture."

Jack (Dia)
"Share custody.. of what?"
"I thought you hated me?"

DAVID
"Where on earth did you get that idea?"

Jack (Dia)
"Um.. pretty much everything you've said."

Me
“Oh my god he’s trying to tell you he wants to stay here! Idiots!”
-yelling from the kitchen-

Jack (Dia)
"Can't tell a girl they're going to be enemies and it not stick."
"Oh."
"I'm an idiot. Lovely."
"Look, I tried to tell you. I'm not all here right now."
"So... you think Sanctuary is home?"
"Or just wherever you're needed at the time?"

DAVID
"Contextless talk of murder does that. And it's not like we were going to be /personal/ enemies. I was willing to continue a very friendly repertoire while joyfully liberating victims of your mass murder plot."
"Places aren't home for me Jack. People are."

Jack (Dia)
"I never wanted to kill anyone."
"I hate this."

Me 

-Tag walks out of the kitchen with a pen and a stack of forms-

Jack (Dia)

"This isn't my timeline."

DAVID
"Then we don't have any problems."

Jack (Dia)
"Seeing all the killing is torturing me inside."

Me
-stays hidden in the corridor-

Jack (Dia)
"There is no way he is signing all of those, Tag."
"Cut the bullshit."
"If he wants to stay, he will. Incinerate those fake forms."
"I'm not kidding. I want to see fire."

Me
“Actually these are real. Humor me, will you?”

Jack (Dia)
 "The fuck kind of paperwork is there? We didn't attack each other."

Me
 “Alright David, sign here. Here. And here.”
“And initial there.”

-David is apparently a fine print guy. And... it takes a while. Because of that whole fifth grade education thing.-

Me
“And this looks in order. Thank you David.”

Jack (Dia)
"That was obnoxious."

Me
“So, your location transfer will take about three days to process.”
“But stick around. Clearly you’re wanted.”

Jack (Dia)
"Wait. Location transfer?"
"What the hell are you talking about, Tag?"

Me
“You really think he was just signing for a fizzle spell?”

Jack (Dia)
"What did I miss?"
"...maybe."
"Someone please explain."

Me
“David’s a K3. He doesn’t need to explain his actions to the higher ups.”

DAVID
"Base designations are really just technicalities though. So I don't know why he bothered."

Me
“It’s a gesture of good will, bite me.”

Jack (Dia)
"So what's your designation?"

DAVID
"Here."

Jack (Dia)

-sits down-

"Oh."

Me
“So he goes where he wants. I just made it official.”

DAVID
"I was going to split it with Fracture's loop. But that's free market any way. So... not a big deal."

Jack (Dia)
"So…You're going to stay."

DAVID 
"You really are incredibly high. Yes."

Jack (Dia)
"It's the only way I can juggle this many memories."
"It's hard enough high."

DAVID
"Well. I'll degrade your protections if I stay too long. And I'm a restless sort."
"So... the more accurate term may be, I'm always going to come back."

Jack (Dia)
"But for now. And sometimes.."
"Oh."
"I haven't had anyone do that in a long time."
"Even Gallows only visits a few times a year."
"Advy, my Advy is dead."
"And Owen lives across the world."
"Ghost died."
"Messi chose Poe."

DAVID
"You still talk to Gallows? Girl, if I'm not your worst ex you might want to think on things."

Jack (Dia)
"I can't remember the last time someone ever wanted to stay."
"He was my husband in one of the timelines. Guy by the name of Nick."
"I wear his engagement ring."
"To remind me, everyone betrays you in the end."
"He's the reason Lilith gave up."

DAVID
"Why is it everyone I take an interest in ends up becoming cynical nihilistic near psycopaths?"

Jack (Dia)
"I'm closer to a highly functioning sociopath with sadomasochistic tendencies, with PTSD and a whole lot of dead lovers."

DAVID
"I am not a psychiatrist."

Jack (Dia) -
"No one in their right mind ever wants me."

DAVID
"Back to wallowing then?"

Jack (Dia)
"I like pain. And violence. People scare me, and I scare them. But I pass for sane."
"I can't help it I want to fuck you or kill you when I look at you."
"There's no wallowing to it."

DAVID
"You seem to spend a lot of time dwelling."

Me
“Yeah, dinner is getting cold.”

Jack (Dia)
"If you had died in the ways I have, you wouldn't judge me."
"Can I hug you? Please?"

DAVID
"I'm sure I would. Because you're better than this."
-And he hugs her-

Jack (Dia)
"Will you be my friend this time?"

Me
“Oh god damn it. I don’t have a camera.”

DAVID
"Yes."

Jack (Dia)
"I'll do my best to be myself. Still used to the voices."

DAVID
"I'm sure you can do it."

Jack (Dia)
"As fucked up as it is, I miss your torture. The screaming stopped."
"Now.. I just drift."

DAVID
"That's why I used to do it."

Jack (Dia)
"They never stop."

DAVID
"Not even with torture really. It just delays it a while."

Jack (Dia)
"I won't hurt innocents. I will break the cycle."
"I won"t become what you did."

DAVID
"Glad to see you kept your light."

Jack (Dia)
"I just wish the screaming would stop."
"We always had love in our hearts. Even for you. Life just interfered."
"I need to schedule a masochistic night with someone. Probably Owen."
"I'll go insane if I don't get laid soon."

DAVID
"I'd help, but I'm a surprisingly inept dom."

Jack (Dia)
"You'd be surprised."
"I'm a pansexual switch."

DAVID
"Me too."

Jack (Dia)
"That isn't necessary."
"Excuse me, guys. I need to make a phone call to schedule a session."
"Don't mind any screaming you hear."
"That's just my form of therapy."
-
quietly exits the room-

-End Transcription-

-later that evening-

Jack (Dia)
....

Me
“Sorry. Do you still hate me?”

Jack (Dia)
“…yes.”
“No.

Me
“Thank you.”

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