Welcome to the Board

A 3 Step Guide To Corporate Success

Disclaimer:

The Board , in its resplendent monstrosity and  inhumane business practices, is not liable for your death, dismemberment or disappearance during your employment at our facility.

An Introduction:

Welcome, new proxy, to The Board.  While your flesh and blood may house your soul, all of it belongs to us. As a new member of our fine program, you will be serving as an underling for the Upper Management, a series of powerful Fears and Eldritch beings that can and will end your meager existence for a quick burst of amusement.

Try not to bring potato salad during company picnics, no one likes it. Many find it an insult and will deny you the sweet release of death in favor of.. several very unpleasant torture sessions.

TIP:

Don't try and submit complaints to corporate without going through the proper channels. While your superiors will occasionally try to kill you for taking too long with your duties, at least they'll do it nicely.

Step I: Communication

While we pride ourselves on being discrete, a good team only works well together then they can communicated as a cohesive group. Barring the upper management sector, which due to the importance of their work, acts autonomously, communication with your colleagues will keep you alive. Unless said advice is meant to get you killed to allow them to be promoted, otherwise, please take up any inquiries with Human Resources.

Step II: Hands-On Experience

If you want to succeed past a certain point, you need some hands on experience with our... methodology. We don't necessarily have to kill our targets, unless we're ordered to by our immediate superiors. Field work is the backbone of your role here, at the Board.

When the going gets tough, you get tougher. And if you have it, jam your complimentary ceremonial dagger into their exposed abdomen.

 Step III: Have Fun

Being a murderous, morally corrupt proxy doesn't mean you can't have fun in the work place. Our motto is "Chaos and More Chaos." If you're not actively making your targets scream like they want to die, and you're happily refusing to give them the satisfaction of the sweet release of death, you're not doing your job.

Having fun here at the Board means following orders and enjoying yourself while you're ritualistically torturing, and or murdering your targets.

We hope you've had a good time reading our guide to success provided by Upper Management. Please follow by example.

Or of course, you'll be dealt with violently and mercilessly.

- From the Human Resources Department and Upper Management